i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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