He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
