was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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