Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
