with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
