walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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