Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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