this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
