I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
