Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
