I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
