There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
