I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
