He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
