that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
