I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize