What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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