you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
