I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
