When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
