i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
