i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
