I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
