jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think pants incapable of making pants work
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
