i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
