Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
