are you still at the devil's house?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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