Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
