What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
