I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
