I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
