Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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