i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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