we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
