it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I sprained my soul last night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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