Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
3pm strippers are depressing
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
