Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
