If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
