I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
