it was like eating out sand paper
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
