There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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