CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
