i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
