Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize