I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
