I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
