420 ftw
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
