If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
