You work out of a Hotel?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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