i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
