So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
