ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
