I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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