The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
