fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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