I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
