party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
