He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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