Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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