just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
