all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
